Carlson Capital Management

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A Family Meeting: One of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Family in 2021

Jeff Carlson
Jeffrey Carlson, CFP®

Founder
651.437.2360
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  "It is the ability to put data and information together into a cohesive plan and structure that requires true expertise, experience and leadership."  

Professional Biography
Jeffrey R. Carlson is a founding principal of Carlson Capital Management. His primary responsibilities include managing client relationships and helping to lead the firm’s business development initiatives. Jeff also develops and sets the vision for the firm. Jeff is a 1983 graduate of St. Olaf College, where he earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in Economics, with specific concentrations in finance and accounting. Jeff began his career with IDS/American Express and shortly there-after earned his Certified Financial Planner™ designation. Jeff has been providing wealth management advice to clients and their families for three decades and has developed specific areas of expertise in retirement and early retirement planning, stock option management, estate planning, insurance services and developing integrated plans that include philanthropic giving.

Jeff is an active volunteer with numerous organizations including Hastings Area Rotary Club, St. Philips Lutheran Church, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the Hastings Area YMCA, Green Lake Lutheran Ministries and the Hastings chapter of Let’s Go Fishing for seniors. Jeff is also an active alumnus of St. Olaf College, and currently serves as the Class of ’83 Correspondent and Class Fund Agent. In maintaining family tradition, Jeff is an avid tennis player and enjoys serving as a volunteer coach with the Hastings High School Tennis Team. Jeff also enjoys golf and spending time with his family. Jeff and his wife, Stacy, live in Hastings, Minnesota, where they raised their three children.

Personal Thoughts
Sports have and always will play an important part in my life. It is through these activities that I have learned hard work, discipline, and teamwork. Let me provide a few examples.

As a sophomore on the St. Olaf Basketball team, I was disenchanted with my playing time and the lack of opportunities to prove myself. With my speech to my coach memorized, I walked into his office to make my case for increased playing time. Before I was even able to say my opening line, I was presented with these words: “You are slow, you make poor decisions, and have an inability to score!”

So, I asked myself, “Do I quit or do I try to prove him wrong?”. By the end of the season, I was the first guard off the bench, lettered, and was given the “Mr. Hustle” award by my teammates. I may not have been the most talented, but I understood the value and reward in working hard and doing my best to help the team.

Another example recalls how I always wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps as a strategist and coach. I can picture my dad, days before a tennis match, shuffling and re-shuffling line ups to get the best opportunity for success against the opposing team. To a degree, what I really enjoy doing at Carlson Capital Management, I learned from my father. First, I know that to best serve our clients requires expertise and strategy from many different angles, including tax, estate, and investment perspectives. Understanding data and information is important, but it is the ability to put information together into a cohesive plan and structure that requires true expertise, experience and leadership. Second, to meet the needs of our clients, I am able to act as a coach to incorporate the best game strategies to “prevent unsuccessful outcomes” and create the best opportunity to win – that is, how to best accumulate, manage, and distribute their assets in such a manner as to help them accomplish what is most important to them.

Jeffrey Carlson
Jeffrey Carlson, CFP®
Founder

In my experience as a wealth advisor for hundreds of high net worth families, I have found facilitating family meetings to be one of the most meaningful and impactful things I do. An effective family meeting opens up the lines of communication regarding a family’s shared values around money and wealth and can become an unforgettable family bonding experience paying dividends for many years into the future.

Taboo Topics Handled With Care

We live in a society where conversations around money and wealth tend to be intentionally ignored or are even considered taboo among even the most cohesive families. With that, it is no wonder that many families have never held a family meeting to focus on these topics. It can no doubt be uncomfortable for parents and adult children alike. That is where proper facilitation from a trusted family advisor, using the structure of a highly personalized agenda, in a comfortable meeting environment, can create an unforgettable dynamic of sharing, vulnerability, and togetherness.

At CCM, our family meetings are typically not about sharing the ins and outs of a parent or parents’ net worth with the next generation, though we can certainly do that if desired. Rather, our family meetings are typically geared toward the unveiling of family values around money, lessons learned from the past, and aspirations for the future … with a lot of laughs and sometimes tears adding depth to the conversation. Most important, we aim to create a safe space via our facilitation where family members can communicate their genuine care and appreciation for one another, the type of meaningful conversations that are often only had at the end of someone’s life.

The Right Time

While we’ve seen family meetings be extremely impactful for all different types of families, we find that families with adult children in their 20s, 30s, and 40s tend to get the most benefit from this kind of facilitated discussion. It becomes a wonderful opportunity for a parent or parents to share their story and relay the values of money stewardship that lead to a family’s wealth, in a safe and non-threatening way. The conversations often lead to a common understanding of the parents’ wishes for their family, and their wealth, in ways that foster healthy ongoing conversation and decision-making.

Because planning for a family meeting can sometimes take several months, and the meetings themselves are best hosted in-person, we encourage you to take affirmative steps now if holding a family meeting is one of your goals for 2021.

To take the first step, contact your CCM advisor or request a conversation. For more information on preparing for a family meeting, visit: carlsoncap.com/articles/you-considered-a-family-meeting/.

PLEASE SEE IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE INFORMATION.

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Published January 15, 2021 Topics: Estate Planning, Family Meetings, Financial Advisors, Financial Planning, Integrated Wealth

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